Vijay

A Golden Life

An Inspiring story of hope and courage

When Vijay was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor (Craniopharingioma) in March 2004, he was 36. Our son was 5 and I had just delivered our daughter.

The diagnosis followed months of illness and an ominously failing eyesight. Within two weeks of the diagnosis, Vijay had to be operated upon. For twelve long hours, he fought under the surgeons knife to keep himself alive. “I will come back” he had told me the night before “Just hang in there”…..and so I did.

When I was finally called in by the surgeon, Vijay lay with tubes collecting vials of blood from all over his head. Sophisticated, expensive looking machines were strapped to him. Hardly breathing myself, I looked to his chest ……….was he breathing? My eyes filled up as I bit my lips fighting hard. “The operation has been a success. We have got all the tumor out. He should be Ok in a few hours” said the surgeon. I wasn’t listening……..”Water” a very weak voice said. I jumped to grab a bottle. ”Just give wet his tongue with ice” said the surgeon, as he walked away. In the triumph in his gait, I realized for the first time that my husband would live.

What followed was a rickety ride. Vijay was determined to live. He battled an increasing body weight, aching joints, insomnia, and sleep apnoea as he tried to live. He sought security in work, and plunged into it with as much strength as he could. There were said and untold biases at work and Vijay was not given the work and indeed the position that he was promised. He tried to convince his employer by working harder each day, each hour, each minute…………I only prayed for him to be at peace.

We moved countries in the autumn of 2005. This was a new start ………and we were determined to be happy……..no matter what. Sure enough, our resolve was brought to test. In July 2006, Vijay was hurriedly summoned by his consultant locally who informed us of a recurrence. Our children now 7 and nearly 3 played outside the consultation chamber. We were given the names of people who treated these tumors and asked to make contact urgently.

I was in December 2006 that Vijay was operated upon again. "Hang in there Vijay" I remember saying to him the night before. My world was once again falling apart, and I could do nothing but bear the pain. Once more I found myself sitting outside the operation theatre in agony. “Prove to me that you exist. Prove to me ………prove to me” I kept arguing with God. Another woman sat a little further away, sobbing. Her world like mine was on fire and we stood watching helplessly.

"A complicated case, but I think I have managed to get all the tumor out. He should come round in a few hours with a headache. I have told the nursing staff" the surgeon said. I thanked him mechanically. Vijay took more than a few hours to come around. He had had a stroke ………… It affected the right side of his body, his short term memory, his speech and left him with a third nerve palsy. I just felt devastated …….and now there was a husband and two children to look after in a foreign country.

Some family pitched in , the employer made some noises, and others just sought gossip. I now understand how tragedy is sensationalized. Moved from hospital to hospital and then sent home when the insurance ran out to wait for a NHS bed, Vijay continued to live. The three year old did not understand why her daddy was different now. The seven year old did not understand why his daddy had to be ill. The thirty five year old did not understand what to do next.

But we all pretended to live a normal life. My son struggled at school. I struggled with betrayal and hopelessness. Vijay struggled to win. He trained his body and his mind. We worked on his speech and his cognition. We acknowledged and praised each other every day. We grew increasingly closer. Every small step was a huge victory. We gave our days a structure, and a routine to work with. We gave our nights the comfort of hope.

Vijay underwent Radiotherapy in June 2007. The surgery had not got all the tumor out as I had been informed, and the residual had to be treated with radiotherapy. Six weeks of radiotherapy, and we still held hands on the way to and on the way back home.

Vijay went back to work partly because there was no other way to support himself and us in a foreign land. Once again, it was the same story. Lack of understanding of brain tumor and a stroke leading to lack of empathy . Once again, Vijay stood his ground and reaffirmed his commitment to deliver his best . In the time of “Leave” that followed Vijay worked harder than ever to defeat his circumstance. He kept himself mentally alert and physically fit. He fought his weight and managed to keep it under reasonable control. He familiarized himself with the history and the of the land that he now lived in. He started to learn Sanskrit, and to play the Piano.

In the past few weeks Vijay has returned to work again in a part time capacity. I can only pray that there is compassion and sensitivity to his “Being” at work. In the meanwhile, Vijay continues to work hard, and is determined to find expression to his skills and talents in all that he does.

He is on his way to finding the meaning of life………..

For him and for all others like him, please let us put our hands together and Bless.

Should you like to contact Vijay or myself for anything at all that we could be with you for ……….email ushere. We want to hear from you. Together, we make a better world!!

Thanks to Vijay for sending in his profile. Anyone else who would like to share their story can send it along with a photograph (if you're not shy!)

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