Miranda Legard

Six months pregnant in 1995, aged 28, I developed a hideous headache out of the blue. My husband was concerned and despite my determination not to go upstairs he tried to get me to go up and lie down on the bed. The vague memories I have from then on are collapsing on the stairs, and then being carried on a stretcher to an ambulance, and muttering I was fine. After that being on a trolley in the hospital where a woman in a white coat was talking to my husband and saying 'I'm very sorry, but your wife has had a brain haemorrhage. All I thought, was poor thing having no idea she was referring to me, and that was it until waking up in the hospital in Middlesbrough and not understanding why endless people kept asking what my name was, and what day it was. It took a long time to register that anything was wrong and that I was paralysed down the left, due to a bleed in the right parietal lobe. My vision was impaired to the left periphery, and it took quite sometime to realise that co-ordination skills were not within my capabilities, and that I was consequently epileptic. Ben was born by caesarean, after a ten-hour fit. (A first for the neurological operating theatre in the hospital.) The hospital was fantastic and allowed me to have my husband or a member of my family sleep in the room every night.

Ben had to be transferred to another hospital and I did not get to see him for a while. My initial worries that he would not be happy with me were dispelled when he first visited, wriggled into my armpit and went to sleep.

After physio and O.T. while in hospital and at home I made, over the years, a complete physical and mental recovery. There are a couple of things that are a little difficult and due to the new 'cocktail' of epilepsy drugs my seizures are very small and occasional, I hope that I will eventually manage a year free of fits and be behind the wheel again some time in the future.

Being an artist relearning the basics of painting were initially frustrating and my visual difficulties seem to have re-wired themselves.

My mother spent an enormous length of time completing the Brainwave-R program devised by Kit Malia, Cristin Bewick,Michael Raymond and Thomas Bennett. It is specifically for addressing cognitive strategies and techniques for Rehab. The whole program is designed for an adult, respecting the fact that you are not retarded, but dealing with brain damage and helps to build confidence in everyday life. Building up self-confidence is a large part of recovery. It covers a large area of explaining of how the brain works and the functions of each area. It was frustrating not being able to find any of this kind of comprehensive explanation anywhere else. I believe the better informed you are the less frightening it becomes, not just for yourself, but for family as well. Seeing my brain scans was also reassuring. Looking perfectly normal on the outside as opposed to breaking your arm and having a sling and being able to see that there is some tangible damage, is a bizarre situation to deal with, and can mean some of the time you just feel that you may not be making much effort and there is nothing wrong with you. That large black hole meant that I had a reason for finding things that I had taken for granted before and bafflingly initially almost impossible. It is weird to look at your shoelaces knowing you did tie them, but not know how the hell you did.

Eight years on I have had a daughter (aged three) and an exhibition under my belt. Without the support and love I have had I would have not achieved all of this. When you are told at the outset that it will be a long haul and slow, they mean it. I have been very lucky that the damage was in areas that have repaired themselves. The Brainwave program had a lot to do with it all. and I hope that many others may be able to benefit from it too. You may be told that many things are not within your grasp, but it is worth the fight if perhaps you get a chance to try and that the recovery of those skills may be possible.

Thanks to Miranda for sending in her profile. Anyone else who would like to share their story can send it along with a photograph (if you're not shy!)

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