Miguel de Sampaio

My name is Miguel De Sampaio, my wife Sue is typing this as I still find it difficult to do more than a few lines, bit of a bummer for a guy who has worked as a computer programmer for 20 years! It all started on June 1st 1999. We had been to Lisbon for a long weekend visiting my parents and were returning to Crowborough just south of Tunbridge Wells. Sue very annoyingly kept asking me if I was OK, I kept replying yes, just a bit tired. The next morning I set off for work on my pride and joy, a VFR 750 motorbike. I was working in Brighton which was a lovely ride during the summer. I was due to leave work around 3.30pm so I could collect the cat from the Cattery. Sue worked in London and returned home as usual around 7.00pm expecting me and the cat to be home. There was no sign of us and just as she was thinking it a bit odd, the lady from the cattery phoned asking if we were collecting the cat today or not. Realising that something must be wrong Sue asked to leave the cat for another night.

Sue then rang my mobile, no answer. She phoned where I worked and got the Security man who said I had left at around 3.45pm. She then rang the Police to see if there had been any accidents and was told no, not to worry if anything had happened they would have contacted her. Not convinced Sue decided to drive one of the 2 routes I took to see if I had come off my bike and was lying in a ditch somewhere. She had arranged for a friend to come to the house in case anyone phoned and set off with our youngest son. Just as she got to the outskirts of Brighton her friend at the house phoned to say that I had been involved in a minor accident and had dislocated my shoulder and could she collect me from the A&E in Brighton. In the meantime the two older boys had arrived home and set off to cover the other route I often took. Sue arrived at the hospital and was asked to wait while a nurse took her to the CT Scanner Unit. Thinking this might be just a precaution after a bike accident she and Matt waited, making all the usual jokes about them not being able to find anything inside my head! After about an hour a doctor came out and asked her if anyone had explained what going on. She was told that I had suffered an "Episode" when asked what that meant she was told that I had suffered a severe stroke (CVA). Just as they wheeled me out of the scanner the other boys arrived, very bad timing as I was fitting and foaming at the mouth.

Apparently after fixing my shoulder a nurse had returned to give me some painkillers to take home and I had collapsed. Sue has always said that she is thankful it happened in the hospital. Had she already collected me and it had happened in the car she would have thought I had nodded off to sleep and it may have been hours before I got any treatment. Thankfully because I was in the hospital, they realised what had happened and got the drugs to thin the clot into me pretty quickly. Of course I was totally unaware of any of this and can't really imagine what it must have been like for Sue and the Boys.

The treatment I received in A&E was fantastic but after that pretty awful. After 4 days I began to come round, Sue had been warned that I could be non responsive but it was still a shock to find me paralysed, unable to speak or even understand the simplest thing. Very little was explained at this stage. To cut a long story short after 6 weeks in hospital I had regained some movement down my left side but still no speech etc. Thankfully I was able to swallow unaided which Sue was told was a good sign. Over another few weeks my mobility improved quite quickly. I could walk after a fashion but that was about it. I had no coordination and still no speech. Sue was told that as English was my second language it was possible I may not understand it or be able to speak it again. A pretty scary situation as Sue didn't speak or understand Portuguese (my first language).

My parents had come over from Lisbon and all I wanted to do was get home. As my father was a retired Doctor and my local GP had agreed to visit daily, the hospital reluctantly let me home. That's when the real fun started. I couldn't manage the stairs, so had a bed made up in the lounge, I couldn't feed myself, wash myself or do anything. Sue sometimes says she wonders now how we coped at all. Her employers were very good and allowed her a month off work on full pay which eased the situation. I had been working for myself for a few years and if I didn't work I didn't get paid. Fortunately Sue had insisted on me taking out Permanent Disability and Income Replacement Insurance. We cursed each month when the payment went out as it was very expensive, but thank God we had it. After a month Sue went back to work every other day and the boys who were busy with GCSE's and A Levels arranged a timetable of "Dad" sitting. Very, very slowly I began to improve but still could not speak very well. I was apparently very bad tempered and frustrated, as we know now that is quite normal but at the time we didn't. Sue's private medical covered me for 10 sessions of Speech Therapy but it was over an hours drive away and meant Sue taking even more time off work.

Gradually we got to a point where I could make some basic communication albeit a bit hit and miss. During all this time Sue was trying to deal with bits and pieces of my company. The biggest problem being that although she was "Company Secretary" I had to countersign cheques. The only way the bank could accept the situation was for the Bank Manager to come to the house, see the situation and witness me making a mark on a form so that Sue could write cheques. It was both degrading for me and highly embarrassing for the Bank Manager. We had also had trouble with the Credit Card Companies who needed to speak to me re the Insurance to pay off the balances, a bit difficult as I could not speak!!! In this respect the Bank were very helpful and wrote to them enclosing authorisation from themselves and a letter from my Consultant to explain the situation. Of course the Credit Card Companies and the Banks have to be careful in these situations, but none the less it's both frustrating and upsetting.

One Sunday I decided it was time for me to sit at the table with the rest of the family and try to feed myself. My food was cut up small but as I am sure, many of you in the same situation understand fully how difficult and frustrating it is to see the food and just not be able to get it into your mouth!! Our cat gained several pounds over the next month or so picking up all the bits that went flying past my mouth!!! That lunch was a bit like a Two Ronnies sketch. I would start to say a few words then falter and everyone was trying to guess what word I was looking for and then I would suddenly blurt out something totally different!!!! How lucky I have been to have a family around me who could on occasions laugh at all this!

As I slowly began to return to a sort of adult human being we decided to get a dog. The whole family had wanted a dog for sometime but with both of us working it had not been practical. I desperately wanted a Boxer having had one as a child. Well we finally got Shongila (his name means handsome from a tribe in Mozambique where I grew up) he really helped me so much. I had to have a routine so I could go for a very short walk a few times a day and until this point had found it very hard to make myself do many things apart from anything else, it could take most of the day just to get some clothing on, and most days upside down or back to front!! Sound familiar?

Anyway moving on a year or so we were having a big fight with the Insurance Company over the Permanent Disability Insurance which would pay off the mortgage. I was getting the Income Replacement Insurance but it was only a fraction of what I had been earning. Sue was still travelling up to London each day, coming home to look after me and the boys and generally getting worn out. About this time over 18 months since my stroke we received a call from the National Health saying they understood I needed some speech therapy!!!!! A bit late but as I was still unable to construct a proper sentence, especially when stressed or angry I wasn't able to say much!!! Sue however explained the situation and promptly told them to stuff it. Apart from my local GP and the follow ups to the Brighton hospital that was all I got from the NHS.

We had in the past discussed moving to Spain when we were in a position to retire and had some friends in a rural area north of Malaga, so decide to pay a visit. We were not seriously considering moving but things just happened!! The boys were beginning to think of moving out on their own, house prices had gone through the roof in our area, we had won the battle with the insurance company so had paid off the mortgage and found a truly lovely spot in Spain on the side of a hill with amazing views. Our house is nothing grand but our life here is now so peaceful and tranquil, I can almost imagine I am perfectly back to normal. Of course I am not, but a quiet life with little stress has done wonders for both of us. We miss the boys but they have all done well with their lives and visit as often as possible. We have made good friends here, it is very rural so we are not on top of each other and they accept me for who I am now and not what I was. Like a lot of other stroke victims I am still moody, bad tempered, get days of extreme exhaustion even from doing nothing and get a bit down sometimes, but this quiet lifestyle has helped a lot. We both appreciate that we are in a fortunate position and that many stroke victims are not so lucky.

We have converted the basement of our house into a self contained apartment which we let out. Anyone interested in looking at the details about the apartment, please contact us on miguelsue@gmail.com we are happy to offer a 15% discount to anyone booking from Different Strokes and will also make a 5 pound donation to Different Strokes for each booking. Sadly because of the terrain we live in we are unable to accommodate wheelchairs at present. The pool has easy to walk in steps, and there is a large covered terrace for shade, plenty of sunbathing space with sun beds. We have beautiful views in all directions and plenty of walks. The apartment has 3 bedrooms and sleeps 6 comfortably, so room for all the family!

We both remember our first holiday after my stroke, we found it difficult, so we are more than happy to help in any way for fellow sufferers and their partners to enjoy a quiet, peaceful time.

Thanks to Migeul for sending in his profile. Anyone else who would like to share their story can send it along with a photograph (if you're not shy!)

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