Linda McLean

21st January 2002. That's the date that changed my life forever. I was 51 years old. It was a Monday first day back at work after the weekend celebrating my youngest daughter's birthday. She and her partner came up from Leicester where they live, for the weekend and went back on the Sunday. It was her birthday on the 22nd.

I was working in as local primary school as an Information Communication Technology manager. I also ran a before and after school club so I was at work from 7.30am - 6.00 pm with only a short break for lunch.

Anyway the day was normal as far as possible. I went home after work, but was very tired and had a headache, but thought nothing of it. Went to the supermarket, made tea for me and my husband. I remember we had sausages and mash. I suddenly felt sick and my right arm felt as if it was turning round and round . I ran to the loo - luckily we have a downstairs loo - and was violently sick. I then tried to stand up and found I could not as I had no feeling in my right leg and it wouldn't support me. My hubby came and helped me get up and into the living room, then when I was sick again he went to phone the doctors. At this point I realized that my sight wasn't as it should be and I was seeing double. I told my hubby he'd better phone for an ambulance as there was something seriously wrong with me. I suspected what it was and of course I was right, I'd had a stroke. The ambulance came and I was taken to the LGI where I was examined and found to have extremely high blood pressure and then I was admitted to the HDU. I had a CT scan which showed I had had a Brain Stem Bleed. I also found out I had bitten a chunk off my tongue. (I think I swallowed it - so now I'm a cannibal!).

I was in the HDU for three days after which I was transferred to a room on my own. A nurse came and took me for a shower which was to be my last for a number of days, as it was decided that I needed constant oxygen, so had to wait for my next shower and had to be content with a lick and a promise till a young nurse took pity on me and gave me a bed bath and washed my hair while I was still attached to the oxygen.

I was very disorientated and had some very weird thought during those two weeks. At one point I was convinced that THEY were trying to kill me, so I kept taking the oxygen mask away. I woke up the next morning to find my hands were bandaged so I could not pull the mask off, but thought I had been in a fire and burnt my hands and that's why they were bandaged up. I was also convinced that I was not in hospital but in someone's house where I was being kept as a prisoner by someone who liked looking after people (the staff nurse actually).

I heard music when there was none being played, and was convinced that a machine which measured my oxygen levels had a little man inside and he would die if it beeped, and spent two days petrified I was going to kill him by not breathing properly.

I slept a lot of the time and people would come and see me and I slept all the time they were there.

Exactly one week after my stroke my daughter gave birth to our second grandson. He was born in the maternity wing of the LGI. I was told about his birth when I woke up. He was born at 8.30am. I thought it was the best thing that had happened to me, but it wasn't because at 10.30am my daughter wheeled him onto the ward and took him, put him on my knee and said "Meet your grandson - Samuel Job". So now I had even more to live for!

Suddenly, almost overnight I was breathing on my own without the oxygen. I was then told I may be transferred to the local rehabilitation unit at Chapel Allerton hospital but would have to wait as they only took 10 female patients at a time and was full at the moment. By this time I could pull myself into a sitting position in bed and would be hoisted into a chair next to my bed. A couple of days after this I was told I was being transferred the following day to the rehab unit, then suddenly it was happening that day instead. I was petrified but also excited, though I had no idea what it was like.

I was moved in an ambulance with other patients who were also going to Chapel Allerton. Chapel A as it is known was to be my home for the next 4/5 weeks and what a shock that was!

I arrived at the hospital and found out that the rehab unit was down in the basement and thought I was being shut away. How wrong! When I arrived the first thing I noticed was that all the patients were wearing ordinary clothes and not nightwear.

I was taken to a bed and told someone would see if Roy, my husband, had arrived. He had been contacted and told to bring clothes for me to get changed into. He arrived but as it was 5 o'clock by that time I didn't have to get changed into my normal clothes.

The following day was an eye-opener for me. Whilst in the LGI I had been used to having everything done for me and now it was DIY time! I was suddenly thrust into a world of Therapy - physio and occupational. Every morning we were woken at 8.00am and then the day began. Whoever was first for physio was allowed the shower first. I had one physio session at 8.45am!

To cut a long story short, Chapel Allerton Ward 1 was the best thing that happened to me. All the staff were brilliant especially Evelyn who was like a mother hen and chivvied you on when you didn't feel like even trying, encouraging you to do things little by little.

I was released on the 15th March 2002 and took home a pair of walking sticks, a wheelchair and various other pieces of equipment . Gradually I returned to normal life (well almost). My blood pressure was still high and it took a few months to get it under control.

I was very overweight and since I had my stroke I embarked on a healthy eating plan and so far have lost nearly 5stones. I still have right hand side problems. That side feels very heavy and I have pins & needles in all my right side, all of the time, but I am much much better than I was and I AM ALIVE which is the greatest feeling of all. I take lots of medication for my blood pressure, but that's no problem.

I wanted to see if I could improve my overall general fitness and so took the plunge, got a letter from my doctor and joined the local council's gym. I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. It gave me something to look forward to and not only improved my fitness, but gave me lots more confidence. I walk there and back on my own now, although its not far. I have taken early retirement, but one day you never know I may be ready and fit enough to work again.

Well that's about it really. Having a stroke has changed my life completely and although I know this is a really funny thing to say, I am a happier person since. I think it makes you appreciate what you have.

Thank you for reading this. It has done me the world of good writing it. Finally, I cannot leave this without thanking all my family and friends for helping and caring for me but particularly my wonderful husband who I love with all my heart. Once again thanks for your patience.

Thanks to Linda for sending in her profile. Anyone else who would like to share their story can send it along with a photograph (if you're not shy!)

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