Kathleen Molloy
WHY ME?
On 4th September 1994, about 3 weeks after my 50th birthday, I suffered a major stroke that resulted in me being completely paralysed on the left side of my body. Until then I had been a happy, fit and active person
At first I was taken to a General Hospital where tests were carried out which confirmed the stroke and the damage done to my brain. What they could not find out was what had caused the stroke. I was asked if I smoked, did I drink and even if I took recreational drugs! In my case the answer to all three questions was negative. They were unable to identify the reason for my stroke. I then had to confront the bitter truth, that there were no miracle cures or magic wands available and the 'clock could not be turned back', my life would never be the same again! After three days I was transferred to their 'Stroke Rehabilitation Unit' which was in a nearby Geriatric Hospital.
There, I was the youngest patient in the Hospital, so began the most depressing period of my life. I was totally dependent on the nursing staff doing everything for me; I had no dignity left. It would be pointless to dwell too much on the detail of my stay there. However, after five weeks I had recovered a little movement in my left leg, enough to let me stand up and with assistance of Physiotherapists walk very short distances. I was supplied with a wheelchair and allowed home to start my new life.
While it was great to be home with my family and friends, it was not to be all 'plain sailing'. As I was to find out there can be terrible psychological problems as part of the aftermath of a stroke. For six months or so I went through an extremely bad period which in some respects was more traumatic than the effects of the physical damage I had sustained. I experienced numerous bouts of depression /anxiety attacks, and had no desire to meet people. I was also very conscious of my physical appearance. During this period I also suffered two epileptic seizures. Fortunately, with the help of my family I did not give up, and I decided that I was going to claw back some of my life. As I emerged from that very dark period in my life I began looking for ways of improving my quality of life.
Firstly, an Artist friend suggested that I took up painting. With assistance from him, I dabbled in drawing and painting for a while and I found that it aided my concentration and stimulated my brain. However, I also sought improvement in my physical condition, namely in my left arm and leg.
I joined a Tai Chi class, which was held in a local Community centre. Initially, I had to sit in a chair while the rest of the participants stood. As my confidence grew and my balance improved the Instructor gradually encouraged me to stand with the rest of the group. Unfortunately, the Tai Chi sessions at that location ended and I had to find an alternative exercise facility.
I went into the fitness suite of a nearby Local Authority Sports Centre and asked the Instructor "If there was anything that I could do"! I was fully expecting him to diplomatically send me packing. However, to his credit, he identified some items of equipment that he believed I might be able to use, 'I was on my way'. Twice a week I attended at these fitness sessions, which lasted sometimes up to 2 hours, all the time I was getting stronger and seeing improvement in my mobility. It was also socially quite fulfilling as I made many friends there.
One of the major disappointments that I had to come to terms with was that I would be unable to play any great part in looking after my youngest Grandson, Kieran. He had been born two months before I had the stroke. I had planned to look after him to allow his mother to return to work, unfortunately that was not to be. However, there was one consolation, which was in watching him develop. His efforts, firstly to crawl then to walk helped inspire me in my quest to regain my independence.
I began to think of the limitations in the NHS for people like myself who were recovering from stroke, and what alternatives might be available. There was no shortage of 'Stroke Clubs' around, but for me they were not the answer. I read an article in a Sunday newspaper supplement about a new Charity called 'different Strokes' that was targeted at stroke survivors of pre retirement age. I contacted the founder, Donal O'Kelly, who was himself a stroke survivor. He came to Glasgow and persuaded me to start the first branch of the Charity in Scotland.
It was not easy at first; especially convincing people of the merits of physical exercise for disabled people. Much of the problem was down to ignorance of what stroke really is and of people's perception of stroke survivors. However, my persistence paid off and I was given a facility at the Castlemilk Sports Centre, Glasgow, where my Group could exercise under the supervision of a qualified Instructor. This has been very successful and many of the members have made substantial improvement in their mobility.
I approached the Charity ' Re Hab Scotland' for assistance in the funding of my Group's activities. Financially they were unable to help, but they did offer me a place in their re-training Programme, which was based at the Southern General Hospital, Glasgow. After an initial assessment by them they identified my strengths and weaknesses and how best I could progress. I then commenced on training courses in Information Technology, Assertiveness and Stress management.
It was during my 18 months with Re Hab Scotland that I developed an interest in Counselling. Looking back at my own problems I realised that I would have benefited from professional counselling early in my recovery process. I then explored the possibilities of training to be a Counsellor. I enrolled in a Counselling Skills course, which involved attending a weekly evening class for a year. I successfully completed all the modules and obtained the course certificate.
While at the Re Hab unit at the Southern General Hospital, the staff nominated me as a candidate for the 'Great Scots People of the Year Award' which the Charity holds annually. On 20th November 1998 I attended a gala night at one of Glasgow's largest Hotels for the awards ceremony. To my great surprise I was chosen for an award in the 'Unsung Heroes' category for work in the community. The walk from my table to the stage, in the glare of the spotlight, for the presentation of the crystal trophy seemed to take ages. However, it was a very memorable and emotional moment that I will treasure forever.
The next big day for me was on 7 July 1999. There was to be a visit by HM the Queen to the Castlemilk Sports Centre, Glasgow, and my Different Strokes class was one of the groups to be presented to her. I found the planning of the visit which had begun months before, very interesting. I had to attend meetings with the District Council authorities and some of the other Groups involved.
Eventually the big day arrived and we all attended early at the Centre. Dress for the day was T- Shirts ('Different Strokes' ones of course), Jogging trousers and Trainers (I did not require my fancy evening dress this time). When Her Majesty entered the fitness suite, our Trainer and myself were presented to her. I then accompanied her around the members of my Group who were all engaged in different exercises. She spoke to a number of them and made them all feel at ease. Her, warm sincere manner created a good impression on everyone present. Afterwards, I went to the newly refurbished Hampden Park, where in the Lomond suite I enjoyed lunch with the Queen (along with four hundred other people).
Since having my stroke I have become in some ways a different character. I have found ways of keeping myself busy, something I would never have believed possible 6years ago! I still have my down days, but they are a lot fewer now, as I have come to terms with my disability. I am a disabled person, although people say, "you would never know that you have had a stroke". Short-term memory can still be a problem; it is a bit frustrating when sometimes I can't remember what I was saying a few minutes earlier! I overcome this by using the mnemonic memory tricks taught to me at rehab.
One of my main concerns was to find out what had caused my stroke. The attitude of the medical profession was that we would probably never know and that I should not dwell on it and get on with my life. However, I could not let it rest there, as I was afraid that there might be some genetic problem that could have been inherited by my children. I could not bear the thought of them ever going through the hell that I had experienced.
About five years after my stroke I raised the question again with my family Doctor. She searched through my lengthy medical records and noted that I had Rheumatic Fever as a child. (My recollection of this was that at the time the Doctor had informed my parents that no permanent damage had been caused by the disease.) She made an appointment for me to attend Hospital for a heart scan. The equipment used for the scan was very new, 'state of the art', it revealed that I did in fact have Valvular heart disease, which was undoubtedly the legacy of the Rheumatic Fever. In all probability this had thrown off the blood clot that had caused my stroke. The discovery has also meant that I had to go onto Warfarin (anti-coagulant), probably for the rest of my life.
Having the stroke drastically altered the course of my life, however, it has not all been bad news. I now have a greater appreciation of life and treat every day as precious. I have made many new friends and met lots of terrific folk from all walks of life. I am eternally grateful to the many people who gave me support and assistance in the course of my rehabilitation. My involvement with Different Strokes allows me to give something back. I am now able to help others in the same situation as myself and let them know that they are not alone and that there is life after Stroke.
Kathleen Molloy
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