Colin Wylie

I am writing this story on behalf of my friend Colin, to thank you for the contacts you helped us find through Different Strokes. We spoke to stroke patients who helped us with so many interesting things and encouraged us never to give up. So I write this story today hoping that it helps other people and their families to help cope with the deviation of a stroke.

I start by telling you when Colin was thirty one years old he had a heart attack which meant he had to have a heart bypass operation. Colin was one of the hardest working men I ever met. I knew him for twenty-one years. He worked as a joiner and active was not the word for Colin. He would work non-stop. He built his own house so we can only imagine how he felt when he had a stroke at the age of forty-four. He was working at a client's house, when as Colin would put it bang he had a stroke. For four weeks Colin was in a coma, slowly he woke to find life had changed. We live on an island so Colin was in a hospital on the mainland so his wife Linda would phone and keep in touch. He had lost his speech and the use of his left arm and leg. They put him home to the local Hospital and when Linda phoned to tell us we went to see him.

My heart was sad to see him but glad to see the smile on his face and to see him light up to see me. We went in every day to watch Colin: his frustration at trying to tell us something he would like to do. We had to learn to be gentle and patient and eventually Colin would get across what he wanted. We brought in his chessboard but he could not remember how to play chess. This just made things worse. Colin and I used to go swimming and swim about forty lengths, so I said would he like to go swimming. He looked at me and when Colin got angry you could understand him better. He said he could not go, I said why not and he asked me if I was stupid. He indicated he had one arm and one leg. I told him there was a disabled swimmers club. He did not like the idea of a disabled club but I said I would ask the doctor if it was Ok to take him there. The doctor thought it was a good idea. We went to the pool and though Colin could not speak the look on his face said it all. He wanted in so they told me to put arm and waistbands on Colin. You could see the sadness in his eyes and the hurt. They lowered him in and he tried to swim but he couldn't was frustrated so I told him to relax and I laid him on his back then I told him to try to move about in the water. When he did you could see the look of freedom on his face.

After the pool we went back to the hospital I asked him if he enjoyed it he said yes and this became a weekly regular event. Colin's speech improved slightly. We used to say he spoke like a German. He always would say I'll never get home. One sunny day I went in myself and asked if I could take Colin a walk. We got outside and went to the end of the road. I went to turn to the town and Colin stopped me. He wanted to go the other way - I smiled because his home was in this direction so I pushed him that way. When he saw his home he was happy, said he wanted to go inside. I did not know if I would get the wheelchair inside but I tried and it just fitted. He was so happy to be there. His family was so overwhelmed to see him.

We had a cup of tea and then set off back to hospital. It was such a good day. Weeks progressed and they said Colin would get home. You should have seen him count the days. Colin became able to walk short distances and for three months he was progressing. Then one day it all happened again but this time the stroke was on the other side of his brain it was a disaster because it brought on fits. This meant Colin was wheelchair bound while in hospital Colin tried to stand up and fell and broke his hip. He was in hospital then a long time. When Colin got home his temper and frustration became bad but this was understandable He had fought once and now had to try all over again. The family was told they would get a lot of help but this was a long time coming. They said Colin would get physiotherapists but this became a joke. They told Linda there was not enough physiotherapists

I asked Linda to ask them if I came in would they teach me to work with Colin. They said yes so I went in and they showed me things to do. For the next two years I dedicated my life to Colin, would come every day seven days a week. We built up an exercise plan. His ankle was solid so I could not move it, I felt if I could move his ankle I could get him to walk. I worked in the building trade and one day an idea came to me. I asked a joiner to make a seesaw for his foot his family just looked at me and wondered what I was going to do with it. I strapped it on to his foot and stood him up I let his own weight do the work. After a few weeks his ankle began to move. The physiotherapist came to the pool and showed me more exercises. Colin was making progress once again slowly but one of his difficulties was he took grand mall fits and this became tough on the family to cope with. So when Colin took a fit I would be there night and day. They managed to make his fits less frequent and this helped his progress.

Within a few months Colin could walk a few steps. I always spoke to him and told him if he did well or badly. The honesty seemed to build a faith between us and he would trust me. One day he said he would never walk unaided but I already felt he could. So I stood him up holding his hands. I told him I was going to let go and the look on his face was sheer fear. But I knew his strength and told him to have faith in himself. I let go he wobbled and took his first step then his second and it was a success. You should have seen him, He was laughing saying I can walk I can live again. Colin went on to walk by himself as long as someone was close by. Colin's walk was far from perfect but it got him where he wanted to go.

We all built up an exercise plan. My wife Cynthia would read to Colin and get him to read to her. Linda and their daughter Nick would exercise him. My brother in law was an old school friend of Colin and he started to visit Colin. He wanted to help and this was great as he liked computers and started exercises on the computer for Colin and took him to classes at the local college. The improvement was brilliant. There was days when he was really down and the temper was unbearable so one day I asked him what was wrong. He told me he felt abandoned by the health care. Linda phoned the hospital and got an exercise plan set up one day a week for three months. They would pick him up and take him to the hospital. This did not settle Colin so we contacted the stroke unit on the mainland and they said they would take Colin for a month.

When they got there a specialist examined Colin. Linda told me they keep looking at each other when moving his limbs when he got up they looked puzzled so Linda spoke to one professor and she was told Colin was a miracle. Linda asked what she meant she told Linda when They put Colin home they never expected Colin to ever walk again. Linda was taken aback as they had never told her. Colin felt at home in the unit. He loved his month there with people in the same boat as him. We would go out for meals as this was one thing Colin loved So when he came home we went out for a meal. We were talking about holidays we had been on, Colin said he would never be on holiday again, So I said for a laugh would you like to go to Turkey? We all laughed.

The next day Linda arrived at the house and asked if I was serious - I looked at her and said serious about what? She said going on holiday. I smiled and said yes if that what he wants. She said yes so I said lets do it! I checked with the doctor he said go for it. We checked with insurance and hospitals out there and off we went. What an adventure. People said we were mental going and Linda would always say it was no holiday for us but I said it was one of the best holidays I had ever spent.

After that Colin was improving in leaps and bounds Christmas was nearly upon us and I said Colin what would you like for a present. He asked for a cowboy gun and holster. We all looked at him and Linda said don't be daft. He said he wanted a gun and holster. Asked him why He said I want to relive my life again. So on Christmas day sure enough he got his gun and holster.

Things were really looking up for Colin He was going to get the house converted and going to get an electric wheelchair and one thing he wanted most was a little dog. Linda loved to go to the bingo and she would drop Colin off at our house. It was Wednesday, Colin loved a brandy and I would make supper and play music and he would sing along. He told me that night I am coming to terms with it Joe. Linda came for Colin and they went home. Twenty minutes later, Linda phoned us screaming. I went out the road and Colin was gone. He had taken a massive heart attack. The doctor was so shocked. You see even if Colin never had a stroke he would have still died from his old heart problems. They had come back to haunt him. Colin was a miracle because all the odds were stacked against him, but he did walk again so all I can say is I echo the sentiments of all stroke patients that I talk to Never give up and that all specialists don't always get it right.

I miss him every day but I know he would have wished you all good luck Yours sincerely Joe

Thanks to Joe for sending in Colins profile. Anyone else who would like to share their story can send it along with a photograph (if you're not shy!)

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