Claire Perkin - Story of a stroke

I was one of the people who only vaguely knew that anybody, any age, could have a stroke. My father-in-law had had one in his sixties, but he was by far the youngest and was after all, I thought in my smug way, a smoker and overweight. My only other experience of strokes was with people in their nineties! The year 2001 was to change all that.

On January 27th my husband Geoffrey aged 51, had what we thought, with our limited knowledge (at that time!), was a stroke. He had awoken that morning with a severe migraine and just before noon started asking what time it was, what day it was, what year it was, over and over again. He was so disorientated over this that he quickly became very distressed so an ambulance was called which took him to hospital. At the hospital they did co-ordination and blood tests and finally (after consulting the internet!) diagnosed Transient Global Amnesia, which, after our fears, was a great relief. His long term general memory was not affected - he recognised his family, knew who the queen was and realised he must be in a hospital, however he had no memory from approximately late August 2000 until the present. His memory returned over the next 24-48 hours but the 27th January itself is lost forever, his only recollection being what we have told him happened. He was very tired at first and it was at least two weeks before he was fully fit again.

In early June I flew home from a pleasant weeks holiday with my parents on Lake Garda. Unfortunately I immediately fell sick with symptoms of retching, a headache and general tiredness. Although not completely well I returned to work after two days as sickness straight after a holiday is awkward, other staff were away and I was in a new job. The headache hung around though, worse sometimes than others, but always there in the background. Much of my new job involved working on computers and I put my headaches down to this. Two weeks later on June 21st, I awoke with numbness and weakness in my left arm and hand. I had no strength at all, it was as if I had been lying on it, but normally that feeling can be shaken out after a short time, this feeling couldnt. This, added to my headaches, worried me and again I thought - stroke! We live adjacent to our local hospital so my husband and I walked round to their Accident and Emergency department. I was seen quickly and my weakness, despite the associated headaches, was written off to severe pins and needles due to lying on that side during the night. I was told it would right itself as the day wore on so I went to work, although I remember feeling tired and yawning my way through a meeting. It was true the strength did slowly return and by the following day was back to normal. It appeared we had again over reacted. Were we becoming hypochondriacs over strokes? Perhaps not, in retrospect I suspect this was a TIA.

Saturday 23rd June, our 26th wedding anniversary, we were going to spend the day in Warkworth. I got out of bed; I was feeling a little strange but I wasn't going to allow that to spoil our day. In the shower I almost felt I was drowning, I couldn't breathe properly when the water showered onto my face. I looked in the mirror and my mouth had dropped on the left side, when I spoke my words were slurred. I was upset, but it would pass. I would go to Warkworth, then if I didn't improve seek assistance later. Geoffrey was determined to cancel Warkworth and seek help now. I had a problem eating my breakfast and Geoffrey won. Again we walked round to the hospital. I was thinking they would think we were total pests and I was also upset at cancelling the trip. My lop-sided facial appearance must have alerted staff as I was again seen very quickly and taken straight round to a cubicle. Co-ordination and blood tests were done and I was sent for a chest x-ray. My problems were all in my upper body - the left side of my face, my ability to swallow and the left side of my chest; however my arm and hand, although weak, weren't as bad as the previous Thursday - although I did manage to spill a coffee by trying to hold it in my left hand! I was admitted to the hospital although managed only to spend one night there as luckily my condition didn't deteriorate. The discharge papers said "lacunar stroke"(???).

My GP couldn't believe it was a stroke, despite my still lop-sided appearance. He reckoned I would be blitzing the housework and clearing out cupboards by the following Thursday and only to return to him if I needed a certificate for a further week off work! - it wasn't until mid July when he had the results of my first MRI scan, confirming a stroke, that he gave me a certificate for longer than a week. He was so sure it couldn't have been a real stroke as I was only 47, a non-smoker, not on the pill (hadn't been for years) and not over weight. Unfortunately his dismissive attitude stayed with me and I was certain that I must just be being lazy, feeling so tired as I did and lacking concentration. A month after my stroke my GP was on holiday so I had to see his partner. This was brilliant. He listened to me, made phone calls to try and get the results of further blood tests I had had and gave me a further 4 week certificate without hesitation. I eventually pushed to return to work at the end of August - in retrospect too early. Luckily the Occupational Nurse arranged for me to only work part-time initially and this was a great help. Three MRI scans and numerous blood tests later, the cause of my stroke is still a mystery and is likely to remain so.

As I write, just under 6 months after my stroke, I am apparently suffering the emotional feelings of loss and resentment that affect about 50% of stroke patients (according to my consultant). I feel it is rather like a bereavement, there is the desire to be able to turn the clock back, to have not had it happen. My stroke was minor compared to many that I read and hear about, the only legacy noticeable to other people is my speech with its slight T inflection and my inability sometimes to get the word I want to say out. However I am aware of other things being not quite as they were and I cannot help but resent it. I think I wanted to pretend it did not happen because then it would not have happened! I am now trying the phrase "It happened, I cannot change that and I must move forward."

Good things have happened. I had just started the exam stage of an OCR Integrated Business Technology III course I had been following when my stroke occurred, and due to the kindness and patience of my lecturer in letting me do the exam in bite size pieces that continued well into the college holiday, I successfully completed it. Finding the Different Strokes website was also a boon - reading the Survivors Stories and the message board has been very helpful. Writing this has also been very positive therapy.

Thanks to Claire for sending in her profile. Anyone else who would like to share their story can send it along with a photograph (if you're not shy!)

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