Bev Graham

In July 2002 my partner Stephanie had breast cancer and it took fourteen months before she was able to get back to work, as a teacher. On the 29th February 2004 Stephanie gave me a ring and asked would I marry her. In July we were going to Antigua to be married, just by ourselves. We had been together for twenty years. On the 6th July in the evening I kept falling asleep. I was very light-headed, fell off the sofa and could not get my words out. I went to bed and slept all night. In the morning my right side was very weak. My leg was very weak, my arm and hand would not move. I had to use my left hand to try and clean my teeth. Except I couldn't, I could not get my toothbrush into my mouth. Steph woke up and called the doctors who said she should take me to the hospital or call an ambulance.

Steph took me to the hospital in Southend and I was taken straight into A&E. All day the doctors tried to find what caused my stroke. It was caused by Atrial-Fibrillation which caused a clot to the left side of my brain. They moved me to a ward and kept me there for three days. On the third day I took myself to the toilet. When I was walking back to my bed I fainted and smashed my face. The nurses checked my heart and found that the heart had gone back to normal. I was moved to Windsor ward which was for stroke people. I was the second youngest person in the ward. A woman who was three years younger than me had the same problems.

I used to go to the gym at least twice a week and I played golf two or three times a week. I was very fit. After two days I found I could walk ok and started to shave by myself. I used to get very tired. I would leave the ward in the morning with either one or two of the guys that also had strokes. We went down in the lift and walked round the car park to the opposite side of the hospital. We sat in the cafe, had a coffee, then walked back to the lift and went back to the ward for lunch. After lunch I would sleep for about an hour. In the afternoon when friends came round I always walked to the café and had tea. It was things like this that picked you up. You started to feel better.

After about a week I could shave using my right hand as normal. Speaking and reading were my biggest problems.

About a week later I bought a Sun paper. The page 3 was the only thing I could understand. When the other guys came round to see the paper I couldn't get the words out. The only things that I could say and understand were "yes", "no" and "sunshine". I just couldn't get the words out. Jenny Packer from Speech Therapy came to see me at the Windsor ward, I just couldn't get the words out. She read and I tried to speak, simple cards, fun, day, nice, etc. I practiced every day just trying to speak. By the next day I could speak the things on the cards.

After three weeks I was allowed to go home for weekends. The weather was warm and I was sitting in the garden when our granddaughter sat next to me and started to read to me. Her book was for a 3-year old, I couldn't read and I couldn't speak. Stephanie started to write sticky letters and put them everywhere - fridge, oven, dishwasher, tumble dryer, washing machine etc. Then I was told "fridge" say it, "tumble dryer" say it, "make a coffee" "kettle" say it. All the time it was Steph or Ellie, they were making me say the words. Then Ellie started to read to me and she said I had to speak the words. Ellie was four but she was better than I was. So I started to copy Ellie, she would read to me and I would read to her. It was very simple but by the first Monday, when I was back at the hospital, I could read and speak a 3-year old's book.

I was allowed to go home after five weeks. I went to the speech therapy every week. Jenny gave me things to practice, simple things. At times things were difficult but I just kept on and on until I got it.

Then I was given a poem by Pam Ayres. It took me a week to read and speak it. Then I was given Black Beauty, a 12 year old's book. Ellie just listened, but we both enjoyed the book. It took me about five days.

In September when schools were back, I went to Sweyne Park after school so Steph showed me how to use a computer again and I started to learn English, basic, but I was learning.

At the end of September I went to the Adult College in Rochford, on a Tuesday. There was a class for stroke survivors. Everyone in the class was different. Some people couldn't speak, others couldn't walk, we all had problems. But together we became very close. We all helped each other and we all learnt to help ourselves.

In October a friend came round and gave me a book, the Autobiography of Colin Montgomery (Golf). In the beginning every paragraph I had to read at least three times. By the end of the book I only needed to read a paragraph once. I really enjoyed the book. By the end of the book I felt I was getting back to myself, slowly but getting back. Every day I read at least an hour. I always read autobiographies but I enjoyed them.

In January I was able to go back to work, 10.00am till 3.00pm. By the end of March I was back to work fulltime.

My biggest problem is speaking to people on the phone. If a new company have enquired about sales etc, I have to get one of the women to call the customer reception and get the customer's name, address, telephone, fax and email. I just can't get it right. I always get something wrong. If the customer sends me an email, I'm fine. If there are too many people speaking in a room, I struggle. As long as people speak to me slowly with nothing else going on, at the same time, I can just about get by.

It was 16-months since my stroke. Stephanie, Ellie, my workmates, my friends and speech therapist, Jenny, have all helped me. Thank you so much, everyone.
Bev Graham

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