Anonymous

I had my stroke in June 2005, 10 days after my son was born ( my second & last! child). I was 40, I had an AVM (arterio venus malformation which is a tangle of veins & arteries) that burst – a brain haemorrhage which clotted & gave me stroke.

My friend came to visit & coo over the new baby. I had a splitting headache but paracetemol didn't get rid of it. When my friend left, my headache got so bad i asked my husband to phone maternity, they said phone A&E. My mum came to look after my 3 1/2 yr. old daughter Katie, while my husband Michael took me & my son Luke (I was feeding him myself) to the hospital. By this time my right side wasn't responding properly & I felt very sick. I think I knew even then that it was a stroke but I thought it was a 24hr one because I’d seen it on ER - how naive! The doctors thought I had migraine. I was violently sick & passed out. They did a scan & found the brain haemorrhage.

I was transferred from Southend hospital to Addenbrookes in Cambridge by ambulance; my husband Michael was told to prepare himself for the possibility that I might not make it there. I had an operation to remove excess liquid from my brain & I was sent to intensive care with a drain inserted in my head. I had to lie still because any movement affected it (I wasn’t very good at that bit!).  That’s when they found the AVM that had burst. Basically it caused a stroke in the cerebella at the back of the brain. I slept a lot (an awful lot) & was glad I was so far away I could discourage visitors easily. After that I had to make a choice about how I wanted my AVM removed, surgically which carried major risks, radiotherapy but it could take up to 3 years to remove it completely or did I want a coil, which may need redoing to stop it bleeding again; I chose surgery which they did 3 weeks later. I was there for 7 hours & didn’t come round properly until about a week later. For about a year my husband was amazing; for the first 6 wks. I was in a hospital 2 hrs. away & he came to visit every day bringing my children alternate days. For the next 6 weeks I was transferred to a more local hospital: again Michael came every day after work for a few hours.

When I returned home we had carers in the house 4 times a day, I was an outpatient at rehab 3 times a week, (I went in the hydrotherapy pool once & it felt as though it was crushing my lungs!) & I was fortunate enough to have an occupational therapist & speech therapist each visit once a week. My parents & his parents took turns to ‘child mind’ with me there because I couldn’t manage on my own & used to sleep for 2-3 hrs. every afternoon. I had to give up driving so again I was reliant on the parents to get Katie from school, Michael used to take her on his way to work. Eventually though, we got a 3 wheeler bike, we had a child seat attached & that gave me some independence. I now, though mindful to be grateful, desperately wanted to be alone with my family in my home. Supermarket shopping was nigh on impossible because someone needed to push me in a wheelchair & my son in the pram! There were some times that we can laugh at looking back such as the time Michael was spoon feeding my son in his high chair & me at the same time!

I was left with double vision, poor balance (I still fall over & my son is now over 6yrs), I can’t walk far at all (the High St if I have to) I have poor co-ordination on my right side, my left side has a constantly cold sensation even in hot weather, I’m very slow & messy at writing though at least I can write now & my speech is slow – anything else? –only joking!

I couldn’t drive then but now drive an automatic. I used to only plan to do one thing every other day, now I more or less have a normal calendar. There’s not much I haven’t done with my children that I'd planned (skiing, ice skating mmm……)!

2008 was my worst year. I was still very ill, but not sleeping during the day anymore. I found out that Michael was having an affair, my Dad died unexpectedly of a heart aneurysm, my business of 18 yrs. went into liquidation & finally my husband & I split up. Whilst I wouldn’t say it was great, I do think being on my own with 2 children made me make excellent progress.

The good news is that it took 2 ½ yrs. but Michael & I finally got back together earlier this year.

Please note all names in this story have been changed. Anyone else who would like to share their story can send it along with a photograph (if you're not shy!)

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